Opprobrium
by AtropaPrimera
Summary: "And the abyss gazed right back. It was fun, wasn't it? You enjoyed it? Don't lie now." HanamiyaXoc


**Author's note: **I've never wrote anything in this format, so this is a tryout. Also, I never wrote an OC before though I'm not sure this qualifies. As always, english is not my first language.

**Disclaimer: **There is credit to be given to; Nietzche, some parts are from the song "No church in the wild" by K.W., and there is abbreviation of Leigh Bardugo's quote. Also, thanks Fujimaki for creating Hanamiya xD

* * *

OPPROBRIUM

[noun]

1. the disgrace or the reproach incurred by conduct considered outrageously shameful; infamy.

2. a cause or object of such disgrace or reproach.

3. **fall from grace**; ignominy.

.

You look trough the door, you enter the full gym, nearly deaf from the cheer, not expecting to see _this s__cene_ unfolding before your eyes.

But you're _lying._

This is exactly what you should be - **and you were **- expecting from him.

(even if you try convince yourself otherwise)

(Butyoudon't.)

You sit there observing, not the game, him. How shrewd, how very unfair. Hanamiya always does it.

And you know he'll keep doing it. _for the heck of it_

You watch with mild interest as the opposing team protests, "he did it on purpouse" (**of course** he did, everything Hanamiya does is on purpouse). And Hanamiya...

...

...Hanamiya just smiles, and smiles and laughs and mocks whirling ominously around the mob like a..._what?_ What, you ask, what is he?

* * *

What's a mob to a king? ("Uncrowned one too?")

_Yes dear, an uncrowned one too._

* * *

You were **warned**

But you were, oh so young and innocent, judicious choosing of the companions was the last thing on your mind. And he was charming and cordial and envied and it just felt so good that out of everyone he choose you. You. Y-O-U!

It felt wondrous when you walked beside him trough the halls, when others threw you the looks of unmasked jealousy because what made you better than them in his eyes.

"Why me?"

_I like you._

**LIESLIESLIES**

**L I E S**

They weren't lies back then.

How sad. You can't convince yourself that, how could you others?

So you play-pretend with him. You pull your pieces, laughing with him, and watching him play, and you become a manager sometime during the second year ("WhathappenedtotheFugawa-san?"), you kiss him black and blue in the locker rooms, you can't resist anymore, you introduce him to your friends, you argue and reconcile and...

You find out.

_So what? Does it really matter if they're prodigies? If they love basketball? Does it really matter once they're trash?_

Somehow it should. Heck, **it should.**

"You lied to me. I thought you were..."

_That's the thing with you who wear your heart on your sleeves. You're so easily led on..._

He grins and you realise it's futile and he knows and he knows you and you already can't help it and it just happens and later he's laughing again and and you're ashamed and a total wreck and it's too late

Join the bandwagon foolish one you hate him now too (exceptyoudon't)

We do not offer safety belt

* * *

What's a king to a god? ("Out of the seven deadly sins pride was the worst.")

_But I do shape their lives with snap of my fingers._

* * *

There was a time when you almost left him, almost, almost got a grip of your life again. It was abominable, what he did to that boy, and you couldn't help it you argue your case and think it will get to his head and wow you're made fool (youmadefoolofyourself) yet again.

I'm sorry Eve, you already took a bite. We don't have a return policy.

_Why do you care? He was specifically irritating me._

"He won't be able to play ever again!"

_So?_

"So? Do you have a heart even Makoto? Do you? DO YOU?"

_If you don't stop bothering me..._

"I'll stop. I'll stop right now. It's over."

_You're only kidding yourself, **dumbass**_

...

The winter solstice passes silently as you watch light draws shades on his collarbone. He comments on the changes you made in your bedroom, and you shrug. As long as he's there, lying in your bed and no one else's. You don't think about the games or what he does it cannot be helped you're way to deep to look up and even if you could you would not

_'I made you. You were nothing before me, I made you and if you leave me I'll reduce you to nothing.'_

You can't bet your finger on it, perhaps it was a dream. nightmare. Slowly, so very slowly, you kept on falling, one level deeper than the last time.

"I never participated in your atrocities."

_'Am I obliged to tell the truth?'_

_'Who'd believe you anyway, dumbass.'_

And there is a whole list of atrocities. List of atrocities done in your name.

So you try to cope, you try to come to terms with the hole you dug and when you stared at it and the more you stared the bigger the hole grew and soon it turned into an abyss similar to the one that glided between the world and where his heart should have been.

There was the truth behind the handsome face and undomitable wit, the truth that was the dead and empty space between the starts, a wasteland peopled by frightened monsters.

"I didn't mean to."

_'Oh but you did.'_

"I didn't mean to set _her_ up. I thought you were cheating on me...**it was excusable**."

_'Dumbass. But the experiment proved useful didn't it.'_

"You set it up. You. YOu. You set it up so I could suffer. So...you made me lie and complicate her life just for fun."

_'You gazed into the abyss darling. The wickedness was to your taste wasn't it?'_

"No..."

_'And the abyss gazed right back. It was fun, wasn't it? You enjoyed it? Don't lie now'_

he laughed

_'I've seen you smile.'_

* * *

What's a god to a non believer? ("A single word you say.")

_But you do believe. You naively still believe._

Who don't believe in anything. ("**Not anymore.**")

_Don't kid yourself, dumbass_

_._

* * *

**umm, thoughts?**


End file.
